I don’t get it.
I love this scene from the 1988 movie classic, Big. In this film, a wish ‘to be big’ turns twelve-year-old Josh Baskin into a thirty-year-old man, played by Tom Hanks. Josh heads to New York, ends up getting a job at MacMillan Toy Company, where during an uninspiring number-driven marketing campaign meeting to launch a “Building that turns into a robot”, Josh raises his hand to say; I don’t get it.
With his childlike viewpoint and honesty, Josh makes an alternative suggestion that inspires a frenzy of ideas and excitement from others in the room, earning the admiration and praise from Mr. MacMillan, the CEO; Well done, Josh. Well done.
Do you wish you could make grand contributions, that inspire others, during your meetings? Do you ever come out of a meeting wishing you’d said something but didn’t because you weren’t sure how? Did you say something, but it didn’t come out right, it didn’t make the right impression or people didn’t take it seriously?
Whilst the scene from Big is pure Hollywood with an outsider doing something disruptive and uncomfortable that changes things for the better; you too can make a high impact with the help of these seven tips.
Tip 1: Tailor your input to the audience
When making a contribution, a common mistake is to focus on exactly what you plan to say, with little thought for the audience. Consider what the audience needs to hear, and how much they already know about the topic first. By understanding your audience and explaining your ideas in a way that connects with them, they can then experience and visualize the impact of the message.
For example, if the meeting is a budget review, and the objective is to reduce costs, you need to explain to those in the room how your idea will make a difference to outgoings and the overall budget. Make sure you are using language the audience is familiar with; if you need to use terminology or acronyms that might be unfamiliar to them, then briefly explain them so they are clear.
Tip 2: Don’t criticise the person, ask to explain the idea
Imagine, you’ve just heard something that you think is incorrect: 2 + 2 = 5
‘Idiot’, you want to shout, ‘it’s 4’. Whilst you are logically right, you should consider how you can diplomatically correct them. Start by letting others know the value you received from the discussion, it validates the conversation and the contributions of others. It’s also rare, so people appreciate it. ‘I think I’m clear about you’re saying’, and ‘I see it differently, could you clarify it further’.
When you disagree, you should say so, as others might be thinking the same think but are afraid to point it out. It’s helpful to introduce your comments in a way that helps the other person hear your view. Whilst ‘I don’t get it’ is direct, ‘could you explain that to me again’ indicates your support, takes the notion of the person being an idiot out of conversation and, in turn, encourages a better discussion.
Tip 3: Build on what someone else has said
Quoting other people is powerful. Think about why people talk in a meeting? The answer is usually to be heard and to be understood. What do people do after they’re certain they’ve been heard and understood? Generally, they listen to the person who heard and understood them first. By building on what someone else has said, it creates a sense of continuity that makes it easier for others to follow what you are adding to the discussion. Make it a habit to take notes in a meeting. Try to paraphrase what the person said that relates to your point. Mention them by name if this point was made earlier in the discussion and include a pause in case they want to clarify. This is a really effective technique when quoting someone who is the decision maker or influential person in the room, but make sure you’re adding something substantial, otherwise constantly quoting other people can come across as brown-nosing.
Tip 4: Replace ‘um’ with stronger filler words
When speaking in the moment, it’s hard not to say ‘uh, um, er’ while you try to gather your thoughts. Filler words are a natural part of how we communicate but can indicate a lack of confidence when speaking to a group of people in a meeting. Try to replace your filler words with stronger alternatives. When you need to gather your thoughts, use words such as ‘Now; You see; However,’ etc. The sentence, ‘Um, I was thinking…’ suddenly sounds much more definitive and powerful when slightly adjusted to ‘You see, I was thinking…’. It sounds intentional, and when people perceive you to be intentional, it instils confidence. This tip requires practice, don’t be too critical of yourself if you are still using your old filler words, even a 50% reduction will give you enormous benefits.
Tip 5: Take a deep belly breath first
Putting your hand up to speak can be nerve-wracking, particularly when you are unsure how others will react. Taking a deep breath in your belly/abdominal area will make you sound more confident by giving strength to your voice.
To practice this: Inhale deeply through your nose and then project your voice by speaking from the diaphragm, this gives more power to your words and can eliminate any shakiness in your voice. In larger rooms, it also allows everyone to hear you.
You should also end on strong note, if you have more to say but feel like you are running out of breath, use a natural pause at the end of a sentence to take another breath and continue.
Tip 6: Pay attention to your body language
If you’re hunched over, or speaking softly, people may not take notice of what you say or they may not take you seriously. How you position and move your body not only affects how you speak; it also affects how you come across.
When speaking, set yourself up so that:
- You are sitting up and forward. Practice leaning in slightly and not using the chair’s backrest
- Start with your hands on the table and then bring them up to use open hand gestures to emphasize points. In online meetings, position your camera so that people can see your hands making gestures
- Smile and make eye contact with everyone around the table as you make your point. When online, remember to look into the camera, not at your screen
Tip 7: Bringing the right mindset
Making an impact is about more than what you say and how you say it – although both are important. It’s about your mentality. And nothing detracts from making an impact like undermining yourself.
Remove apologetic language like ‘I’m sorry, I might be completely wrong here.’ Tentative language may be appropriate during a brainstorming session, for example, but not when you’re trying to be perceived as decisive and an expert.
Take a moment to pause. Pauses can be golden, so don’t be afraid to use them. If you’re unsure how to answer a question, or are searching for the right words, it’s OK to pause for a bit before speaking. You can say, ‘Let me think,’ or ‘I have a suggestion,’ while you piece your thoughts together in your mind. These phrases help buy you time until you’re ready to present the ideas fizzing in your brain and they get people ready to listen to you.
Mastering the art of making high impact contributions is an essential career building skill. Not only does it reveal how confident, credible and composed you are, it ensures your ideas are heard and acted upon.
Whether you’re responding to someone else’s presentation or answering questions after yours, you don’t have to sweat it when you want to make a contribution. Practice with your friends, trusted colleagues or in places such as a Toastmasters clubs that provide a safe space to practise and learn.
Trust yourself. Don’t dismiss your ideas as irrelevant or ordinary. Your ideas, questions, and views are often more unique than you think. You are the only person in this meeting with your specific combination of background, experience, commitments, and concerns. Making an impact is about sincerity, and with these tips to add some more polish; it will give you more confidence to make a high impact contribution to your next meeting.